What comes to mind when you think of a work-related celebration? Yep. Veggie trays. BBQ Meatballs. Ranch dip. Before you start getting angry, I love those things too and they all have their appropriate day in the sun. However, I had something else in mind entirely to mark my transition from the chaotic environs of healthcare management to full-time academia. Flaky buttermilk biscuits and sausage gravy. It’s not something I eat all of the time (once or twice a year?), so it would be a real treat to make some French press coffee, pop open a buttery biscuit, ladle on some down home goodness, and saddle up next to my buddies to enjoy the deliciousness in full-mouthed silence.

Now. Some biscuits and gravy are terrible. Dense, dry biscuits paired with pasty, bland gravy makes no man happy. Others are just “meh”, tasting more of pepper than anything else. This joyous duo of recipes for laminated biscuits (what I like to term “The Criscuit”) and flavorful sausage gravy is the bees knees. Seriously, if you need a celebratory meal, really screwed up with the ol’ significant other, or are trying to impress your new beau, make.this.now. Otherwise, use these laminated biscuits and sausage gravy to induce serious dead-as-a-doornail nappage in others when you need a little peace and quiet ’round the homestead. The resultant food coma makes for a lovely Sunday.

The ingredient list is small, so use quality ingredients. Also, a combination of whole milk and evaporated milk makes for a gravy that in no way resembles Elmer’s glue. No paste allowed! A browned roux and few spices kick up the flavor as well. Pair up a flaky, buttery biscuit with the gravy and you’ll take home the blue ribbon. I won’t bother with nutritional information. I mean, would you look at the nutritional information on cake? Now, go forth in celebration and joy with your biscuits and gravy!

For the Biscuits:

• See the recipe for Criscuits

For the Gravy:

• 2 pounds of high-quality breakfast sausage. I don’t use hot or sage, just normal sausage.
• 2 cups of whole milk
• 12 ounces of evaporated milk
• 2 TBSP flour
• 1/2 tsp dehydrated onion
• 1/4 tsp cracked pepper (more or less to taste)
• 1/8 tsp white pepper
• pinch cracked peppercorn melange
• 1 bay leaf
• 2 shots (? 1/4 tsp) of Cholula hot sauce

Prepare biscuits up to a day ahead of time. If made ahead, they are better stored in a ziploc bag on the counter after completely cooled. Doing so keeps you from overheating refrigerated biscuits.

Brown the sausage over medium heat, breaking it into fairly large chunks.

Here we go. It’s like those moments when you’re climbing the big hill on a monster roller coaster…anticipation!

Remove the sausage from the pan with a slotted spoon and set it aside on a plate. Add the 2 TBSP of flour to the pan and cook until slightly browned, about 3-5 minutes.

Cook up the roux. You can use anywhere from blonde to chestnut.

Lower the pan temperature to medium-low and slowly whisk in the whole milk and evaporated milk. Whisk the mixture until smooth. Bring the gravy to a low simmer and cook until thickened and the gravy coats the back of a spoon, about 10 minutes. Add the reserved sausage to the gravy and stir to combine.

A match made in heaven.

Add the dehydrated onion, cracked pepper, white pepper, peppercorn melange, bay leaf, and Cholula. Continue to simmer for 10-15 minutes to meld the flavors.

Man, that’s looking goooood.

If the gravy thickens too much (remember, no paste!), add water as needed. Prior to serving, salt to taste. Serve with Criscuits. Bask in the goodness.

So good. The perfect little meal with good buddies!